Thursday, October 29, 2009

Is there a difference between being flirty or too friendly?

..because sometimes when i think about it, i think they both are almost the same esp. when it's towards the opposite sex.

one thing i hate about being married to a military man is that they can't always tell you everything that they do. okay, i've accepted that. but one of the things that bug me most is when they dont come home when they say they will. of course that is the usual for military lives but UGH!

i just want to rant off my feelings that i have just brushed off for the past month.

i think i just don't know my husband as well as i think i do or i've just forgotten how he is since we don't have many conversations anymore. it's so sad i feel like i want to resort to other things to fill in that space.

when i come to think of it, we really don't have much in common but that has always been us. BUT idk. if we can't find common ground i don't know what to do. i feel like everytime i have something to say to him, he NEVER listens and it gets on my damn nerves. later on he will tell me the exact same thing i told him and say that he just found that out, and i will tell him that i told him that before. UGH!!

a lot of days now i just find myself wanting to go out more with friends or do something that will make me stop thinking of this. it is starting to scare me that we can't find common ground. i really do love him, its just..i am such an outgoing-always trying something new-love hanging out kinda person. ..not stay at home and watch my husband play xbox while i watch baby all day wife.

and i will admit that whenever i see him being friendly i guess i take it in differently. probably because i don't feel the same anymore. *sigh* i dont know why i feel like i can't trust him. is it a different part of my life that i am going through again?


glitteryeyesxx said...

Hey Leslie, thanks for the quick response! I'm trying to find where to purchase them online, but to avail.

Can you provide me with the web site you get them at? Thanks, hon! =)

I hope to look even half as hot as you when I'm a mom. You're smokin'!

Nani said...

even though my hubby isn't a military guy, lately i have been having these types of feelings too. it;s also making insecure. what doesn't help is that i am home all day like a caged animal. I think it may just be a phase.. cause in my heart i know nothing is wrong.. it's just my head getting the best of me when i am alone too much.

xoladiihoneyxo said...

Throughout my relationship with my hunnie, I do feel insecure at times. Although he's not in the military... there are times when I feel distant which sucks! Well, I think your hubbie should start flirting with you a little to make you feel beautiful, gorgeous, sexy, hot... you name it! Guys should definetly need to know that.... I told my hunnie many times why doesn't he pay attention to me anymore when I talk and blah blah blah.... don't worry, guys have stubborn ears so sometimes... we just have to keep repeating. Just remember why you love him in the first place! If he can't talk about military days..... try making him talk about something else... something interesting that both of you can share. TRY SOMETHING! Just keep on trying! Do not give up!!! Or you can play xbox with him while keep an eye on the baby. multi-task babe! You need to hang on strong and make him listen... motivate him then talk about anything, cry it out if you need to... in front of him! One of the way my friend get her fiance to listen to her is that she cooks something good at home and wait for him to come back, put something sexy on and make him listen or else he gets nothing. lol. a method?

Sher said...

aww I kinda know that feeling... I think finding that reconnection is important. what helps is having an activity you both enjoy doing together. me and the SO love going for coffee and playing cards. its our thing and we always find it fun and we reconnect that way. We are in no one very smiliar but I think we both compliment each other that way.
I hope you guys find an activity that you can both enjoy... its the little things like that, that make it special :)

loveashrey said...

This blog entry hits so close to home...maybe we can talk about it phone to phone, face to face someday.
I hope you and walley can work things out.

loveashrey said...

This blog entry hits so close to home...maybe we can talk about it phone to hone, face to face someday.
I hope you and walley can work things out.

M.'s Ramblings said...

Too bad we don't live close to each other, we'd totally kick it and complain about the military spouse life! LOL j/k (sort of)

Something happens to Tom when he hangs out w/ the boys - I've just come to accept that they become juveniles or frat boys when they get around their military boys. I just got to the point where I told him, "Look, just make sure u have a designated driver, & don't get locked up or kill/hurt anyone while you're out!" I feel like I'm his Mom sometimes, I swear.

I used to worry about his 'friendliness,' but I don't anymore. I mean, there are some chicks he associates w/ from high school, that I don't care for, but honestly - I am just convinced that his life is better with me in it. (That may sound conceited, but I think it's true).

I think it's this cabin-fever-stuck-with-the-baby-all day syndrome that's got us, ladies.
Maybe the brotha should watch lil Keenan sometime during the weekend so you can get out, and do stuff you're interested in, & socialize more.

Hope this helps, hon............
Damn, I love mommy rants!

Becky (everyday makeup) said...

my bf was in the military for a long time. it was a long distance relationship for a long time and all we had was trust. Its really difficult. Were both very different but we mesh well. Also, I never know everything that was going too.

you are very beautiful. I see your photos and Im like don't feel any insecurities.

mar <3 said...

i dont want to join the bandwagon of this hitting close to home but i kinda have too.. lol

its funny because when rj the little one was around keenans age i went through the same thing and kinda right now tooo... hubby was glued to halo and COD4 and i was irritated and i even once told him that i was gonna throw his 360 out the door.. lol. and i associated that with going out all the time in florida with my girls.. and ignored the problems we had at home. that monster came out and has vanished.. now my issue is we are around alot of single guys that when hes with them i think he thinks he can do whatever whenever and come home whenever. its annoying and im getting to that same point where i wanna just go out all the time.. lol..

we should have a military wives meet lol... if i ever go to fwb, we'll have to hang out.. =)

SASHA said...

on a good note - i find myself always donating money to the military - AND i hope it somehow goes to you. :) just my love from afar!

les, i wish we talk on the phone more often. i know my phone is always dead - i should've listen to my uncles and never co-sign for someone else, but good thing is, it'll be over in 5 months. haha.

anyways to answer your question: it is how we precieve things that makes the difference between too friendly and flirting. does that answer much?

coming from a friend - I KNOW YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS! i may not know how it feels like to be in your position but i do know how it feels like to always be with the same person all the time. there are bad times and there are good times but mostly good times. :)

you really just need a vacation. go to the beach! lol.

les, danny and i are two different people as well - and i know that you know that that is what makes you and meng, i and danny - strong.

if you were to be married w/ someone who has everything you've got - i think you would strangle him to death! haha -

men express things differently! lol, like they expect you to know that they do care. i don't know what's wrong with them - they don't need to hear i love you every moment of the day to know that we do love them. they're weird les!

you should just hide meng's xbox or ps3 whatever he has better yet just destroy it! haha.

or write him letters! i know that that may seem weird but it works! lol, i give danny letters and cards every now and then - and he later in return does the same thing. :)

just something out of the norm.

p.s. les you should have nothing to feel insecure about. you are beautiful inside and out! everyone sees it! so stay strong woman! i love you!!

xSplendidStar said...

Awww Leslie, I may not know how it is to have someone that you love beside you but you shouldn't feel insecure at all! You know, it's good to have differences, it lets you learn new things from each other. Maybe perhaps you should go out with your girlfriends once in a while to catch up and do get your mind off things. I'm sure it will help <3


miss wiggle said...


Oh I totally get on my fiancee's case about it - even though he doesn't flirt LOL... I don't think flirting is appropriate at all - and I think if our significant others are serious about the relationship, they would know where the boundary is.

Don't tolerate it when you see it Leslie - I think it's better to address it if it bothers you. I know some girls who are totally chill and ignore it when their BF's are overly friendly - well all I have to say is, their BF's eventually cheated on them with their best friends or something.

Marie. said...

Though out the years me and Martin have grown distant then close then distant even though hes wasnt in the military yet. I think it just happens in every relationship, sometimes you guys get caught up being busy with your own lives. I think the two of you should sit down and talk. Maybe have a date one night and just go somewhere fancy and just talk, you know? Or even over a home cooked meal. Let him know how you feel, he cant know whats wrong if you dont let him know, right?

As for being flirty and too friendly... if there IS a line its a little blurred out for me, same goes for Martin. We both naturally flirt, so watching each other flirt with other people doesnt bother us because we both know its just who we are. He says I lead people on too much, when really I'm just trying to be nice! I think he leads people on when really hes trying not to look like a douchebag LOL.

Marie. said...

Oh and I agree with xoladiihoneyxo, why dont you try playing Xbox with him? I know I use to HATE when Martin spent all day playing video games so he asked me to play his games with him and to be honest, I started ignoring him more than he was ignoring me LOL! But its a really nice common ground when you find a game you both like and play it together. I think its one of the things that bring us closer together.

xoladiihoneyxo said...

well... I wouldn't advice this but I'll "suggest" you this method. For me, I would bitch slap my man if I have to. LOL. ONLY ON OCCASION AND DO IT PRIVATELY! Guys have prides and since we love them... let them have their prides and then boss them around behind close doors. LOL. just kidding about bossing them around but SOMETIMES, they just need a slap to wake up. slap on the hand would work, I do that. LOL. Playing xbox with him will probably work.... I still think it's a good idea to play xbox with him if he's too into it. I'm sure you can multi-task and when your little man is crying, make him pause the game and your man will help... at least he better!

If it gets really bad to a point that you just want to kick his ass, you two might need a second honey moon. I hope all goes well sweetie! I'm sure you two can pull it through. It's been too long for everything to go down hill.

Christy said...

wow, i totally get how you feel. my boyfriend's not in the military, but i feel like that a lot of the times and it's nice to know that we share the same thoughts!

~Lisa said...

Aww! Don't worry. Maybe have a chat with him about how you feel? Hope everything works out between the two of you. Good luck

xSplendidStar said...

Hey Leslie! I just left an award for you on my blog :) I think you're a very awesome person and you definately deserve it <333

- Kay - said...

I have the same thing with my bf of almost 4 yrs he just doesn't listen a lot of the time, and it really bugs me! it's like he automatically just tunes out if I'm talking about something I find interesting--and often times he'll tell me the same thing later all excited as if he just found out about it. Even worse, he'll argue and say that I never told him!!!

Addicted2Fashn said...

im in a 5 yr not married/have children but about to be engaged...i feel the same way! glad to know im not the only one! sometimes i think whether i should take the next step or not or if theres something better...